Friday

Another weekend arrives. Today, my tears are at the surface, to match the cloudy, cool day I suppose.

I miss being held by someone who understands me and my feelings. Friends are helpful when available, and family members are busy with their own grieving. I try to keep busy too, deflecting the pain as best I can.

There is a kindred spirit out there, who has been guiding and comforting me through my grief, from a distance. My dreams of being together are not nearly the same as the reality would be. I know this, as I have been with this person before. Our souls did connect. Our attraction is palpable. Our comfortableness is like being home. Our similarities are striking. One of our challenges is distance. For now, I dream.

Sleep would be helpful, and tonight I might assist myself with medication. I only resort to a sleeping pill when several nights/weeks without rest has occurred. Inevitably, I cannot sleep the night after taking one, with or without another pill. It is a temporary relief.

Maybe I'll drink wine instead. Although, as relaxing as a few glasses can be, sleep will then elude me. There are no good solutions for me this night.

Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.