Sunday

As it turns out, yesterday was not a better day for me, in spite of the sunshine. I decided not to take a sleeping pill, and consequently tossed and turned most of Friday night/Saturday morning.

My melancholy mood better suited the indoors. I did manage to declutter some old letters, cards, and photos from the first lover in my life, since the divorce. This was long overdue, to make room for the one I want now.

I also began to tackle a booklet (the first in a series of four) sent to me by the pastoral care minister. The intent is to normalize the grief process. It triggered tears, which I suspect is a normal reaction :)

Last night, I succumbed to the sleep medication. I dreamt of a stranger, who pulled me out of the water, not once, but repeatedly. I was not drowning each time I fell into the lake, yet was helped voluntarily. I would like to meet this kind and caring soul.

Today has been a more calm and happy one. I went to church again, and briefly spoke to friends. Then errands, and brunch with one of my adult children, whose company I always enjoy. I relish the time I get to spend with both of them. After all, they are the reasons I still live in this concrete jungle!

I hope to speak to my nephew, who leaves tonight for a teaching position in another part of the world. He will be gone, far from home, for one year. That is the plan, and we know what John Lennon thinks about life and plans!! However, I am hopeful that this one will be happily fulfilled.

Now, I will attempt to have a restful nap, which serves as a diversion some days; alone, unfortunately.

I shall see what tonight and tomorrow bring.