Uncertainty

Snow flurries fell from the sky today! A chill is in the air.

Mother nature is fooling us this month, as it is normally April 'showers' that bring May flowers.

Now that spring hikes had begun for me, this feels like a step backward, which I hope is only temporary.

I need to be surrounded by nature as I feel the waves of grief resurfacing.

Melancholy feelings are conjured with this change in the weather, and with the realization that the nine month anniversary of my mother's death will soon be here.

The sympathy cards are still on her desk. I'm just not ready to lay them to rest. Lately, I have been strong and it hurts to give in to the grief.

Socializing with friends, both new and old, while enjoyable, as it was this evening, cannot seem to sustain my spirit when I then return home to be alone.

Unpredictability, when it is negative, is never welcomed.

The weather is not in my control.

Other people's actions are not in my control.

I can only be responsible for my own behaviour and how I respond to others.

I was always of the belief that 'actions' speak louder than words, yet when it is words I want to hear that are spoken by one I feel close to, and want to know better, I have a tendency to overlook the actions that follow.

I can only have faith that my trust will not be misplaced.

As usual, time will tell the story.