Fall Again

As September fades and another month advances, I feel a little like 'fall' myself.

At the risk of 'feeling sorry for myself', I will anyway.

Each of us is entitled to curl up in the fetal position and hibernate once in a while.

Too many losses occurring simultaneously can cause that reaction in me, as the sadness of every loss I have ever experienced is easily triggered when I feel overwhelmed.

Today is one of those times.

I wish my Mom were here to listen to me, or just to hear her talk would be comforting.

My Dad's reassuring voice and sense of humour would lighten my load as well.

In reality, at this moment in time, there is no living person who can give me the unconditional emotional support I need. That is a lonely feeling.

Spiritually, I can get what I need. Physically and emotionally I cannot.

My friends and family are involved in their own 'situations' and are 'unavailable' to me. In fact some of them need me and my strength.

I know logically that 'this too will pass', yet right now it is a painful process.

I still have my appetite which is a good sign. And I can count my blessings.

Perspective is always comforting.

The weather is cooperating with no rain today. The sun will shine.

I just need to 'let go' and allow these waves to crash into me if need be, knowing I will not drown. I haven't yet!

I am a survivor and have much to offer others in this life.

My purpose for having this gift of life is unfolding as it is intended, I do believe, and will be revealed to me as time goes on.

To accept this gift is to live my life for me. That is after all, what a gift is; free, with no 'strings' attached.

As I enjoy my life, the light and love I feel freely flows to others, which is the by-product. Perhaps that is the purpose . . .

I just feel the need to ask for a little help from another human being to change my course again.

Someone who is non-judgemental, objective, and can feed back my thoughts to me will be my choice. A dash of sensitivity is also a prerequisite.

I have always told others that to seek help when one needs it is a real sign of strength, not weakness.

I will practise what I preach.