Loss is Constant

The friend I have known the longest, and who probably knows me best, is moving thousands of miles away this week.

I have helped her with sorting/packing as much as I could, while maintaining a positive outlook.

It will be a good move for her, back to her home where family awaits.

And yet she leaves her 'family' of friends behind, whom she has accumulated over a multitude of decades.

Speaking for myself, I will be at a 'loss' without her nearby.

That is what I am feeling today. Grief for this loss, another change in my life.

Recently, I had to let go of the 'dream' of having a loving relationship with someone who had become a 'habit' in my life. Another loss.

As it turns out, many of my perceptions of this individual were inaccurate in reality.

It is easy to love the positive traits in another, and more difficult to embrace the 'whole' person.

I do have a way of accepting others 'unconditionally', which at times 'comes back to bite me', as some of these people are unable to return this kind of acceptance.

There are people in my life who repeat hurtful patterns of behaviour toward me.

Each time it has happened, I have forgiven them, with the hope that history would not repeat itself. Inevitably it does.

Some people do not change. I would ascertain that these individuals do not know themselves well enough to acknowledge or to assume responsibility for their hurtful behaviour.

One reason for this 'blind spot' is that they have an 'image' to uphold to themselves and to others in their world. To realize that they are doing something that disrespects another, would not 'fit' with their perception of themselves.

Another reason for this denial is that these persons view themselves as 'victims' when it involves being hurt, and they are unable in this particular stance to take ownership for their behaviour when it is hurtful to another.

Regardless of the reason(s) causing the behaviour, I have come to realize that I owe it to myself to no longer 'trust' someone who has repeatedly broken my trust and disrespected me.

Betrayal of my trust shows me that someone is untrustworthy.

Respect for myself necessitates that I distance myself from these persons, even when I love them.

Not only is change a constant in this life (even though some refuse to change their behaviour); losses in life are as well.